Sleepless, yet not awake.
I quiet my thoughts, but they will return,
and thankfully so, or the night would be longer still. What makes consciousness struggle so against its opposite?
I long for the quiet nothingness of sleep.
Get up and do something, the experts say.
I have no energy for that.
I lie here and worry instead.
What’s the long-term effect on my body and my mind?
Surely at some point the need to sleep will overcome the need for vigilance.
Where will I be when that happens?
Bleary-eyed I stumble through another day, both dreading and desiring the night.